Is there a hidden writer in you?

May 22, 2017   🕑 5 minutes read

Is there a writer in you, just itching to burst forth? Here are 54 tell-tale signs!

This is the sixth installment in a series of self-help tests to help secret writers and not-so-secret writers proclaim their affliction.

If you can’t get enough or are still uncertain, never fear! Here are the previous five installments to help coax that hidden writer out into the open:

Read here the first 54 ominous signs that you might be a writer.

Read here the second 52 signs that you might be a writer.

Read here the third 51 signs that you might be a writer.

Read here the fourth 52 signs that you might be a writer.

Read here the fifth 56 signs that you might be a writer.

Is there a writer lurking in you?

If your spouse complains when you clean the furniture, because you remove only enough to form words in the dust, you might be a writer.

If there is a lineup outside your local bookstore every morning, and the lineup is you, you might be a writer.

If you scan the political news because you are developing a villain for your story, you might be a writer.

If you scan the political news because you are developing a villain for your story, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever fought to defend a dangling participle’s honor, you might be a writer.

If all your best friends are invisible, you might be a writer.

If you are always trying to read people, you might be a writer.

If you still write post cards, you might be a writer.

If you are taking notes while everyone else is watching the action on stage, you might be a writer.

If you hate automated emails, because you can’t write back to them, you might be a writer.

If an outhouse conjures up images of a quick place to hide from a chase, you might be a writer.

If instead of a briefcase, you carry a file cabinet with you on the bus, you might be a writer.

If your keyboard gets more use than your mobile device, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever petitioned city council for proper punctuation on stop signs, you might be a writer.

If you walk up to people and whisper in their ears, “The Bard only knows…”, you might be a writer.

If the first thing you think of on a rainy day is “It was a dark and stormy night”, you might be a writer.

If you say “autobiography” when you mean résumé, you might be a writer.

If you consider book burnings to be terrorist acts, you might be a writer.

If you fear book burnings even more than the Zombie Apocalypse, you might be a writer.

If you fear book burnings more even than the Zombie Apocalypse, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever dreamed that your pillow turned into a keyboard, and that explains why your partner can’t sleep, you might be a writer.

If “Words mean what I want them to mean” has ever been your slogan, you might be a writer.

If all your doodles seem to spell something, you might be a writer.

If the first pass with your lawnmower spells a recognizable word, you might be a writer.

If you vote for whichever candidate is the least non sequitur, you might be a writer.

If the answer to “What has it got in its pocketses?” is a pen (of course!), you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever written a poem on the bottom of your shoe, you might be a writer.

If there are two sides to every story, and you want to tell both of them, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever been diagnosed with “inkstain brain”, you might be a writer.

If you think the worst tragedy in history was the burning of the library at Alexandria, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever shopped for a pesticide that works on editors, you might be a writer.

If you spent most of your childhood nights with a flashlight under the blanket, you might be a writer.

If you think living in an upper case neighborhood would be a capital idea, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever tried to turn a Spanish-English dictionary into a foreign film screenplay, you might be a writer.

If you've ever tried to turn a Spanish-English dictionary into a foreign film screenplay, you might be a writer.

If the war you fear the most is a war of words, because you know that the pen is mightier than the sword, you might be a writer.

If you always perk up in church when the preacher says, “It is written…”, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever dialed 9-1-1 to report a split infinitive, you might be a writer.

If you edit the cardboard signs that homeless people are holding, you might be a writer.

If you think Alexander Hamilton was the hero of the Revolution because he got to write all of Washington’s letters, you might be a writer.

If your way of preparing for the risks of Ebola and SARS was to sketch out disaster plots – oops, I mean plans, you might be a writer.

If you really should change your pajamas after nine days straight, you might be a writer.

If your idea of an April Fools joke is to put fake dust jackets on somebody’s books, you might be a writer.

If your main concern with climate change is that rising seas might flood coastal libraries, you might be a writer.

If you have calluses on your fingertips, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever written a back cover blurb for a user manual, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever sat in a graveyard, seeking inspiration, you might be a writer.

If you often pray for the light to turn red, so you can jot down an idea, you might be a writer.

If you often pray for the light to turn red, so you can jot down an idea, you might be a writer.

If you admire the Cambodians, because their alphabet has the most characters, you might be a writer.

If your favorite musical is Hamilton, because it has three times as many words as Phantom of the Opera, you might be a writer.

If you often find yourself updating your list of top 10,000 favorite books, you might be a writer.

If you have ever assigned personalities to the vegetables on your plate, you might be a writer.

If your career ambition is to go back to school, you might be a writer.

If you have ever gotten high on a sonnet, you might be a writer.

If you always stay behind to read the movie credits, you might be a writer.

If you think that “verbs” is one of the four basic food groups, you might be a writer.

If you still write notes for you kids’ lunch boxes, after 27 years, you might be a writer.

Bloggers and writers!  Feel free to use the images in this post on your website.  They were made lovingly with you in mind, from a fellow writer.

About David Leonhardt

David Leonhardt is President of The Happy Guy Marketing, a published author, a "Distinguished Toastmaster", a former consumer advocate, a social media addict and experienced with media relations and government reports.

Read more about David Leonhardt


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