Take this test to see if you are an incurable writer (56 questions)

Are you an incurable writer? Here are 56 tell-tale clues!

This is the fifth in a series of self-help tests to diagnose you as an incurable writer, hopelessly addicted to words and a vagabond spirit upon this planet.

If you are a writer, my condolences. But you won’t get any pity from me, because I’m a writer, too. If you missed any of the first four tests, here are the links: [Read more…]

Are you a #writer? Take this quiz.

Are you a writer? Take this 51-question quiz to find out!

This is the fourth in a series of self-tests to help you determine if you are a writer – someone afflicted with the compulsive need to express yourself in words at any time of day or night.

Being a writer is a terminal condition; it cannot be cured, only managed.  One of the best ways to manage being a writer is with humor.  So we take the humorous approach to diagnosing your condition. Take this writers quiz, then feel free to share your results in the comments below…if you dare! [Read more…]

Wow! Even more signs that you might be a writer

You might be a writer if…well, there are just too many signs that you might be a writer, so this is the third edition, with even more tell-tale signs that you are a writer.

Jeff Foxworthy must be turning in his grave. Well, maybe not for a while (Sorry, Jeff). But here we go again, appropriating the style of jokes he pioneered with rednecks, and applying them instead to writers. You can read the first edition here, and the second edition here, and if you survive those and are ready to read the signs below, it simply proves that you are:

A. Dead, but just don’t know it yet.

B. A glutton for punishment.

C. A certified writer.

D. All of the above.

With apologies to rednecks everywhere, you might be a writer if… [Read more…]

Can We Talk? What Writers Can Learn From Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers had Botox. Writers have editors. Everybody needs a helping hand to perfect their craft.

“I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive. Things are happening.”

“I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll go through another door—or I’ll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.”

[Read more…]

52 more signs that you might be a writer

Being a writer is more than just a profession.  It’s a special kind of bizarre. Check for these 52 tell-tale signs of being a writer.

In July last year, I shared with you 54 ominous signs that you might be a writer.  Writers are “special” people.  I offered that guide to help you self-screen for this condition before it becomes terminal.  Now I offer you another 52 signs you can use to self-diagnose your condition.  I strongly urge you to read that guide first, before proceeding with this one, for no particular reason.  Please feel free to let us know in the comments below if any of these signs apply to you.

CAUTION: 4 out of 5 writers who read to the end of this guide have found their writer condition to be terminal. [Read more…]

54 ominous signs that you might be a writer

Writers are “special” people. But don’t worry, it is not always contagious. This guide will help you self-screen for this condition before it becomes terminal.

I’ve done this a couple times before, parody Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” routine, and I’ve even done it with “You might be a writer” before.  But this is a bigger, more complete collection, which I hope you enjoy.

If you are unfamiliar with Jeff Foxworthy, here is a short video to get you in a humorous mood. [Read more…]

How to Write Good – the definitive guide

If you were always wondering how to break the rules of grammar, spelling and common sense, here’s your chance. These are the top 34 rules a good writer can break, with full explanations why not to do so.

1. Avoid utilizing sesquipedalian terminology at junctures where the vernacular suffices.

2. Prepositions should not be used to end sentences with.

3. Keep exclamation marks to a minimum! Please! [Read more…]