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This is the fifth in a series of self-help tests to diagnose you as an incurable writer, hopelessly addicted to words and a vagabond spirit upon this planet.
If you are a writer, my condolences. But you won’t get any pity from me, because I’m a writer, too. If you missed any of the first four tests, here are the links: [Read more…]
This is the fourth in a series of self-tests to help you determine if you are a writer – someone afflicted with the compulsive need to express yourself in words at any time of day or night.
Being a writer is a terminal condition; it cannot be cured, only managed. One of the best ways to manage being a writer is with humor. So we take the humorous approach to diagnosing your condition. Take this writers quiz, then feel free to share your results in the comments below…if you dare! [Read more…]
Jeff Foxworthy must be turning in his grave. Well, maybe not for a while (Sorry, Jeff). But here we go again, appropriating the style of jokes he pioneered with rednecks, and applying them instead to writers. You can read the first edition here, and the second edition here, and if you survive those and are ready to read the signs below, it simply proves that you are:
A. Dead, but just don’t know it yet.
B. A glutton for punishment.
C. A certified writer.
D. All of the above.
With apologies to rednecks everywhere, you might be a writer if… [Read more…]
“I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive. Things are happening.”
“I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll go through another door—or I’ll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.”
In July last year, I shared with you 54 ominous signs that you might be a writer. Writers are “special” people. I offered that guide to help you self-screen for this condition before it becomes terminal. Now I offer you another 52 signs you can use to self-diagnose your condition. I strongly urge you to read that guide first, before proceeding with this one, for no particular reason. Please feel free to let us know in the comments below if any of these signs apply to you.
CAUTION: 4 out of 5 writers who read to the end of this guide have found their writer condition to be terminal. [Read more…]
I’ve done this a couple times before, parody Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” routine, and I’ve even done it with “You might be a writer” before. But this is a bigger, more complete collection, which I hope you enjoy.
If you are unfamiliar with Jeff Foxworthy, here is a short video to get you in a humorous mood. [Read more…]
1. Avoid utilizing sesquipedalian terminology at junctures where the vernacular suffices.
2. Prepositions should not be used to end sentences with.
3. Keep exclamation marks to a minimum! Please! [Read more…]
