So you’re the best man or groomsman, and you’ve been asked to speak. No problem. Here are five examples of short best man speeches that have been huge successes at real weddings.

Nobody has ever been chosen as a groomsman or a best man because they are great speakers, and certainly not because they are great speechwriters. You are best man because you are a friend, perhaps even a brother – someone the groom loves and trusts.

If you are looking for best man speech examples or best man speech ideas, you’ve come to the right place.

A good best man wedding speech is heartfelt and funny. But most of all, it is personal. Each of these short best man speeches was hand crafted by our speech writers. You can pick up ideas from them, or you can hire our best man speech writers to write just as wonderful and personal a custom speech for you.

• Read also: How to write a great best man speech

Here are five unique and original best man speeches we have written. Note that names, places and other identifying features have been changed to protect the privacy of the best man, bride, groom and others in each sample best man wedding speech.

• Superhero – funny best man speech example
• Stalker best man speech example
• Short best man speech example
• Funny best man speech example
• Marital advice best man speech example

Zipman saves the day in a short, funny best man speech example

Hi everybody.

My name is Jack, and I am so excited about this wedding of Suzie to Zipman.

[PAUSE]

I see some of you have heard of Zipman’s notoriety?

I knew Chad since we were both nine years old, when we lived on opposite sides of the ball diamond in Philly. We would play video games and football and watch ridiculous movies together. We would be James Bond for fun – life was all shaken, not stirred.

That was before Zipman came along, of course.

Zipman is a superhero invented by his own mild-mannered alter-ego, none other than Chad himself, our groom-extraordinaire.

Like every superhero, Zipman has a trusty sidekick. And like every groom, Chad has a best man.

I am pleased to be that sidekick. And that best man.

And so is Hari, of course.

Suzie, how cool is that? Not only are you marrying a superhero, but one with two sidekicks! Not every superhero gets two sidekicks, you know.

For those of you who thought that Chad was just your average bank security officer, you should know that he invented Zipman in – what was it, seventh grade?

I believe it began as a Halloween costume, but what I remember is this – close your eyes everybody, and try to picture it:

Chad sprinting down the hall at full speed.

He’s wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

The cape’s flowing in his wake.

His shining eyes are glaring through the holes of a sleep mask.

And there on his chest, a giant “Z”.

Zipman saves the day!

You’d think Chad would be happy enough to have fun for Halloween. But Zipman wouldn’t go away. He made appearances in several of our school assignments. Let me tell you, history will never be the same again.

We learned something about Chad through this, too. What a writer he turned out to be, not just inventing this character, but also creating riveting narratives for our school projects.

Chad, you missed your calling.

And now Zipman has swept Suzie off her feet – or should I say he zipped her off her feet? – and off to Boston.

OK, it’s confession time. I love Zipman. After all, he’s so entertaining. But the guy I really like, is his mild-mannered alter ego.

Joan, you raised a wonderful boy, a man I am so proud to call my friend.

I am sure Hari would agree. I know Shelly and Jen would, too. Chad’s been as good a friend to us as anybody can be, right?

[PAUSE FOR AGREEMENT]

Suzie, you picked a wonderful boy, a man I know will make a great husband.

Indeed, it’s perhaps Chad’s most admirable quality – he is always there for his family. He is always there for his friends. He will always be there for you, Suzie. And that’s what being a superhero is all about in real life, isn’t it?

Life is a series of adventures, and it’s exciting to see Suzie and Chad head out on their next adventure together.

Please raise your glasses to join me in a toast to Suzie and Chad.

To Suzie and Chad!

Best man speech becomes a biography of a stalker

My name is Drew Franklin, and I am pleased to provide a few words in honor of Roger and Fiona.

In fact, it is hard to keep it to just a few words when you have known someone as long and as closely as I have known Roger.

Roger and I went both grew up in Richwood, as most of you know. Ironically, we did not meet in Richwood. It was in April of 2009 at the Kansas State University orientation. Coincidence? Or fate? I stayed in the dorms the first year and only joined – yes, coincidentally – the same fraternity as him the next year.

It was quite by accident that my mother and Roger’s mother Beth [NOD OR POINT] met in Richwood and discovered they both had son’s at KSU, both freshmen, both in the same fraternity… and were actually roommates.

That was might have been the end of the story; I headed to Philly when Roger went to Atlanta.

But for some reason, we both moved to Milwaukee, a few blocks away from each other, in 2015. I began to think that my autobiography might be titled Biography of a Stalker.

Cheryl and I welcomed Roger into our family circle, becoming like a second father to our daughter Olivia.

I remember the time Roger picked Olivia up to take her for a bike ride. Fiona knows this story well, by now. Olivia was a beginner and a little wobbly on her bike, with Roger following behind on his bike. One time she got her confidence up and got going a little fast and veered in front of Roger, forcing him to crash sideways to avoid hitting her. She just kept on innocently riding.

[PAUSE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT]

Roger survived.

But I realized that maybe it was Roger’s autobiography that might be titled Biography of a Stalker.

Then, when Roger moved to Minneapolis, what could Cheryl and I do? We packed up and moved there, too. Just another coincidence, perhaps, but in retrospect…could it have happened any other way?

[PAUSE]

It has been a wild ride and a lot of fun. Roger is a research prodigy, as his mother Beth well knows, and as his father Don and his companion Melanie [NOD OR POINT] also know well. In 7th grade, he tested at a 12th grade research level.

In fact, he has had an almost unhealthy dalliance with a lady named Siri. Congratulations Fiona for somehow winning over his affections from her.

Roger’s capacity for research has made weekly restaurant discoveries quite interesting. He presents them…well…here is how he might present this banquet…

[INSERT ROGERLIKE DESCRIPTION OF WEDDING BANQUET AS IF IT WAS A RESTAURANT]

I know that there are more than a few guests here who can attest to the fun we have shared hiking the Rim of the Grand Canyon [NOD OR POINT to Sammy Jackson],

participating in the classic book club [NOD OR POINT to Kimberly and Patty Freeman],

and spending the 4th of July weekend right here at Greenfield Hollows Lodge [NOD OR POINT to Hedy and Phil Linn and Bart Eastman].

Knowing how much Roger enjoys the Sundance Film Festival, I am sure that more than a few of the guests here were wondering if this wedding would be held in January in Utah. But then the wedding might have interfered with festival activities?

As you can guess, I have known Fiona almost as long as Roger has, and I am looking forward to getting to know her mother Mira and her father and step-mother, Jesse and Nicole [NOD OR POINT], better in the years ahead.

And thanks to this wedding, I finally met Fiona’s brother Sid and his girlfriend Penny. [NOD OR POINT]

I realize now that all these years of stalking have lead to this culminating moment. This is the time when I finally get the chance to…

[PAUSE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT]

… toast the bride and groom.

Roger and Fiona, you are two beautiful people who totally deserve each other. I love you both, and I hope to continue stalking you for many years to come!

[GRIN]

Everybody, please join me in a toast to the bride and groom.

To the bride and groom!

Short best man speech example for someone who doesn’t like to speak

Hi everybody.

My name is Terry Thompson, and as you can probably tell, I am Jake’s baby brother. See the resemblance?

[PAUSE, MAYBE POSE FOR A GRIN OR HOLD JAKE’S PHOTO NEXT TO YOUR FACE]

Naw, I don’t either.

I want to congratulate Jake on finding such a wonderful bride. Look at her. Isn’t Sharon beautiful?

Lucky Jake!

It’s times like this that a brother feels proud and overjoyed and even a little overcome by emotion.

I must confess that I don’t know Sharon all that well.

Jake met her three years ago. She joined us on a family trip to Yosemite, and I can say that she was wonderful company. She showed us that she is kind and outgoing.

Is Sharon the perfect match for Jake? Well, Jake is spontaneous, also outgoing, goofy and sometimes stubborn as a mule.

So, yeah…I would say they are the perfect match.

There is one thing they very much have in common. You can’t pin these nomads down.

Jake and I are from Denver, which is where he met Sharon three years ago. Then, they moved down to Arkansas a year-and-a-half ago. Now here we are in New Mexico, where Sharon’s family is from.

Can’t keep still, can we?

So now I wonder … where will they be this time next year? New York? Alabama?

I hear the weather in Italy is good this time of year.

[PAUSE]

On occasions like this, it is customary for the best man to offer some sage advice, based on the wisdom he has gained over the years.

But who am I kidding?

Some advice you’ve probably heard before is that the secret to a happy marriage is to each put a little water in your wine. I like that advice … makes sense, doesn’t it?

Others might recommend each of you to put a little wine in your water. I like that advice even better.

So, just to be safe, I will advise Sharon and Jake to drink lots of water … and lots of wine, wherever your wandering might lead you.

So please rise and lift you glasses of wine, water or whatever, in a toast to the bride and groom, Sharon and Jake.

* While we label this a “short best man speech example”, we would rarely write any wedding speech over five minutes.

Funny best man speech example for a jokester

Ladies and gentlemen, friends, family, and especially Neil and Mimi.

Neil had a tough time choosing his best man. First, he asked his best looking friend. But he said “No.”

Then he asked his smartest friend. But he said “No”.

Then he asked his most charming friend. But he said “No.”

Then he asked me. And I said, “Neil, I can’t say no to you four times…so I’ll do it.”

Seriously, you would, too, if you knew how beautiful the bride is, not to mention her bridesmaids.

It is the Best Man’s honor-bound duty to give a speech at the wedding, with the sole intent to embarrass the groom one last time before he is married. When I am through, I’ll let you be the judge of how honorable I’ve been.

[WINK]

I’ve known Neil since we were about this high.

[BEND TO SHOW THE HEIGHT OF YOUR KNEES]

We grew up on the same street in North Bay. We went to the same school. We played ball hockey together. We played baseball together. We went biking and swimming together. We partied hard, went boating out on the lake and spent many an hour in the ice hut together. (Not all of this was when we were toddlers.)

Neil was never a big fan of fishing, but we went fishing together a lot. So, we split the work. I caught the fish, and he drank the beer.

Don’t worry, Mimi, this won’t be one of those speeches where I let everybody know how much your husband likes beer.

Well, except that people probably want to know the REAL story of how you two met. You see, Neil was on a company golf tourney, and Mimi was a beer girl at the club.

It has been said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but that’s load of rubbish. The two things a guy like most are girls and beer. And here were the two together. How could he resist?

Seeing Neil’s obvious attraction, his co-workers dared him to hit on her. If this was in the movies, she probably would have decked him right then and there, but today she’s saying “I do”, so whatever Neil said must be the greatest pick-up line in history.

Bachelors, today you will not be trying to catch the garter; you will be trying to catch this envelope.

[HOLD UP ENVELOPE]

It contains Neil’s miracle pick-up line.

[PAUSE]

Seriously, Neil is the best buddy a guy could have.

Neil’s parents, Howard and Rebecca, should be proud. You two obviously did an amazing job as parents. Let’s hear it for Howard and Rebecca!

[PAUSE]

Neil is younger than me, but I’ve always looked down to him like a big brother.

[PAUSE]

Did I say that right?

When I’ve had tough times, who was there for me?

Yes, it was Neil. Now, Mimi, he’ll be there for you every day. I know he already is there for you. I know he already has been there for you, but isn’t it nice to make it official?

Those who know me, know that I don’t quote literature very often. But George Bernard Shaw is reported to have said that “It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can.” I think Neil and Mimi managed to navigate an amicable compromise on that one, don’t you?

There is somebody missing here. Mimi’s mom passed away a few years ago, and I know how much Mimi would have loved her to be here for this moment, so let us have her here in our hearts, at least.

I care a lot about Mimi, because I care a lot about Neil. I have come to know her over the past few years, and I can tell you that Neil chose well. Mimi is a kind and warm-hearted woman, and she is like family to me, too, now.

Well Neil, how’d I do? Did I keep my honor-bound duty? Don’t you wish your most charming friend had said “Yes” instead?

One last thing, everybody, if I could ask you all to please rise – just stand up please – and raise your glasses to join me in a toast.

To Mimi and Neil, may their marriage be as strong as their friendship.

* While we label this a “funny best man speech example”, we would rarely write aa best man speech without some humor.

Happy wife, happy life best man speech

Hi everybody.

I would like to say that I am thrilled to be here as Sid’s best man. I would like to say that, but I won’t. Because I am only half the man I could have been. Well, half the best man I could have been.

I share the role of best man with Rueben. Does that mean I only get to speak half as long?

You wish!

You all know Rueben? The identical twin Sid always wanted? Hey, Rueben!

I have a theory of why Sid has two best men. He’s a smart guy, my buddy Sid.

You see, Sid needs Rueben. If Sid was to get cold feet on this whole wedding thing, Rueben would be able to just slip into his place. Who would know the difference? And Sid needs me. I’d be here to pick up the slack as best man, if Rueben has to stand in for Sid.

I think it’s as good as any conspiracy theory you read on the Internet.

Sid, you’re a lucky guy to have found Ashlee. I know I don’t often call you lucky. We’re big Cubs fans, so maybe we’re not allowed to be lucky.

But today, you get Ashlee. So, screw the Cubs, because tonight you get lucky! (Hopefully not by screwing the Cubs, though.)

Ashlee, you are a lucky woman, too. Sid’s been my best friend as far back as I can remember. Besides the fact that he can get you a great deal on window coverings, he is a loyal, generous, honest and all-round good guy. In fact, he’s the type of guy you might want to marry.

I know you’ll enjoy Marissa, too. She’s Sid’s mom, she’s been like a second mom to me, and I know she’ll be like a second mom to you. Who doesn’t want two moms?

And Darren and Jackson, you’ll enjoy having Sid in the family almost as much as Ashlee will.

Almost.

The best man is supposed to give some tidbit of advice to the groom. Vivian and I have been married nine years, and I still recall the advice my father gave me on our wedding day: “A happy wife is a happy life.”

I said that I still recall that advice…I didn’t say I still follow it.

But I do try. I do try.

So, Sid, to send you on your way with Ashlee, here are the top five ways to make sure you always have a happy wife.

Number five: Never let her have the last word. The man should always have the last word, and that word should be “Yes, dear.”

Number four: When tempers get short, never pour water in your wine. How do you plan to get drunk like that? She’ll enjoy it more if you pour wine in her water.

Number three: Just one word: “massage”. Women love massages. They especially love massages between their…er…um…shoulders. Yeah, shoulders, we’ll go with that. A good neck rub between the…you know where.

Number two: Be her biggest cheerleader. Seriously…it will make her laugh to see you in that tiny skirt.

And in those white panties.

She’ll really like that package.

And number one: The best way to make sure you always have a happy wife is…

Can I have a drum-roll, please?

The best way to make sure you always have a happy wife is to leave the toilet seat down! No woman is happy when she falls in the toilet. If she does, your marriage might follow.

Don’t be a turd.

Someday, Sid, you’ll look back on this moment, and all you’ll remember is that at your wedding you were advised not to flush your wife down the toilet.

And not to be a turd.

You’re welcome.

So that’s the best advice from the best man. Whether follow any of it or not, I know the two of you will be happy forever.

And we are all happy to be sharing this moment with you, so can I ask everybody to pour a little wine in your water, stand up, raise your glasses, and join me in a toast to Ashlee and Sid.

To Ashlee and Sid!

Use these best man speech ideas to write your own? Or ask us to write it for you?

These sample best man speeches are drawn from a variety of weddings, written for a variety of best men. Each is, of course, written for the occasion. You don’t want a cut-and-paste speech for your best friend’s wedding.

While we distinguish them for the purpose of this article, they are all short best man speeches. They are all funny best man speeches. And they are all written with care and delivered from the heart.

You can use these examples to guide you in writing your best man speech, or you can ask us for help.

Whatever path you take, best of luck!

• Read also these short maid of honor speech examples.