What is a writer? We’ve looked for those tell-tale signs, and we’ve found some more. You might be a writer…or perhaps you might be several writers.
Jeff Foxworthy says that you might be a redneck. But I say that you might be a writer. In fact, I’ve said it seven times already:
- 54 ominous signs that you might be a writer
- 52 signs that you might be a writer
- 51 signs that you might be a writer
- 52 signs that you might be a writer
- 56 signs that you might be a writer
- 54 signs that you might be a writer
- 51 traits you need most to be a writer
Now, I’ll say it an eighth time. And, as with so many writer traits, perhaps you are more than one writer.
55 signs that you might be a writer
If you have a pen name instead of a nick name, you might be a writer.
If the drafts in your house don’t come in through the window, you might be a writer.
If the address on your luggage tag is the same as the local public library, you might be a writer.
If your favorite food is whatever you can reach without getting up from your desk, you might be a writer.
If 0nceUpon@time is your most used password, you might be a writer.
If caps lock is the bane of your existence, you might be a writer.
If your walls are covered in sticky notes, you might be a writer.
If you know the difference between an ellipse and an eclipse, you might be a writer (or an astronomer).
If you’ve ever been haunted by the ghosts of works-in-progress past at the same time as the ghosts of works-in-progress present because they are the same, you might be a writer.
If you seem to have become an expert on more arcane subjects than you knew existed, you might be a writer.
If you hang out at the #WritingCommunity on Twitter, you might be a writer.
If you’ve ever fainted when somebody “bookmarked” a page by turning it’s corner, you might be a writer.
If you file query letters alphabetically by agent, you might be a writer.
If you’ve ever revised something other than your opinion more than 20 times, you might be a writer.
If one of your prized possessions is a collection of gnawed-on pencils, you might be a writer.
If you are a Tardis, you might be a writer.
If you can’t resist cemeteries because they are filled with so many untold stories, you might be a writer.
If your search history could launch a federal investigation, you might be a writer.
If your view of pandemics is “great story idea!”, you might be a writer.
If you were actually more productive during the pandemic, you might be a writer.
If you finish the ditty “Sticks and stones will break my bones” with “but words will kill”, you might be a writer.
If the sight of two men emptying a septic tank makes you wonder if there’s a body in there, you might be a writer.
If you can’t get mad at people because you always understand their motivations, you might be a writer.
If the loud noise that makes others jump makes you think “SFX”, you might be a writer.
If you are still in your pyjamas as you read this, you might be a writer.
If you are an expert on more things than you can count, you might be a writer.
If you think people keep asking you what your genre is, you might be a writer.
If you have imaginary conversations with characters in your novel, you might be a writer.
If you’ve seen Something Rotten more than twice, you might be a writer.
If people keep calling you anti-social, you might be a writer.
If you never run out of words, you might be a writer.
If the drawers in your bedroom are labeled “socks”, “underwear”, “shirts”, “unfinished manuscripts” and “completed manuscripts”, you might be a writer.
If you are considered high risk for carpal tunnel syndrome, you might be a writer.
If you’ve asked them to write “World builder” on your tombstone, you might be a writer.
If you repeatedly misuse the word “aspiring”, you are a writer (You just don’t know it yet!).
If tea leaves reveal a plot when you read them, you might be a writer.
If you always turn on captions when you watch movies because you like to see words, you might be a writer.
If your hands feel empty without a notepad, you might be a writer.
If your vocabulary includes words like “oft”, “yonder”, “ere” and “perchance”, you might be a scribe.
If you paint Easter eggs with words, you might be a writer.
If you refer to Chevrolet as an imprint of General Motors, you might be a writer.
If you are convinced that nothing you’ve ever written is any good, you might be a writer.
If you’ve ever written a letter requesting a poetry category at the Olympics, you might be a writer.
If you’ve ever confused “a penny for you thoughts” with a job offer, you might be a writer.
If your idea of lifting weights involves a library card, you might be a writer.
If you find humans a nuisance because they interfere with the real world developing inside your head, you might be a writer.
If you secretly suspect that emojis are an amateur attempt to put you out of business, you might be a writer.
If your keyboard activity is controlled by a feline entity, you might be a writer.
If your best ideas come while you are in bed, taking a shower, navigating rapids, running from a bear, driving or stuck in conversation with a very chatty, boring person who would be greatly offended if you were to rush out to jot down an idea, you might be a writer.
If your preferred pronoun is “published”, you might be a writer.
If the I in your IQ stands for “imagination”, you might be a writer.
If you are lost in space, even when your body is right here on Earth, you might be a writer.
If you own more than a dozen dictionaries, you might be a writer.
If your office politics typically involves imaginary characters, you might be a writer.
If your nightmares are about being unable to find the right word, you might be a writer.
There are so many kinds of writers, with so many traits. Which of these traits do you see in yourself. How many kinds of writers are you, anyway?